‍How to Identify Your Core Values and Choose What Matters Most

A practical guide for athletes, students, and anyone trying to make choices that align with who they are.

When life gets busy, it can be hard to know which choice is the “right” one. In mental performance and counseling, one of the most powerful ways to make better decisions is to understand your core values—the beliefs that guide how you act, respond, and show up each day.

Unlike goals, which usually have a finish line, values are ongoing. You might set a goal to win a championship, earn a certain grade, or complete a training plan. But you might value the process, learning, discipline, growth, health, connection, or resilience along the way. Goals give you direction; values help you decide how you want to travel.

What Are Core Values?

Core values are the personal beliefs that influence your choices, priorities, and behavior. They help answer questions like: What matters most to me? What do I want my actions to reflect? What kind of person, teammate, student, athlete, or friend do I want to be?

Naming your values matters because awareness gives you a clearer starting point. Once you know what guides you, you can begin making decisions that align with who you are. In other words, you can start to choose what matters.

Values vs. Goals: Why the Difference Matters

A goal is something you can complete, achieve, or check off. A value is something you can continue practicing. For example, winning a game is a goal. Competing with effort, discipline, and focus may reflect your values. Getting a strong test grade is a goal. Valuing learning, preparation, and growth can guide how you study and respond to challenges.

When you understand this difference, your confidence does not have to depend only on outcomes. You can evaluate your choices by asking, “Did I act in a way that reflects what matters most to me?”

How Values Help You Make Better Decisions

Imagine you value health and wellness. That value might help you choose to go to bed earlier instead of staying up late scrolling on your phone because sleep and recovery support the kind of life and performance you want.

Or imagine you value both relationships and learning. A friend asks you to hang out the night before an important test. There may not be a perfect answer, but your values can help you pause, check in with yourself, and choose intentionally. In that moment, learning may speak louder because of the test, while connection can still matter by planning time with your friend later.

Choosing what matters most is not always simple. Values can compete with each other, and circumstances change. The goal is not to judge yourself. The goal is to build awareness, notice patterns, and make more intentional choices over time.

5 Steps to Identify Your Core Values:

1.       Start with a values list and identify 15 values that feel important to you.

2.       Narrow the list from 15 to 10 by removing five that feel less central.

3.       Narrow the list from 10 to five by choosing the values that feel most present in your life.

4.       Reflect on why each of those five values matters to you.

5.       Over the next few days or weeks, notice how your choices align—or do not align—with those values.

Values List: https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/

Awareness is the first step to change. You do not need to criticize every decision. Simply notice what your choices reveal about your priorities, energy, and direction.

Putting Your Values Into Practice

Once you identify your core values, the next step is practice. Before making a decision, ask yourself: What matters most in this situation? Which choice reflects the person I want to be? What value do I want to act from right now?

Values may resonate strongly for some people and less immediately for others. Like any mental skill, identifying and living by your values takes time to build and strengthen. The more you practice, the more your values can become a reliable compass for performance, relationships, learning, and everyday life.

If you feel you want to explore your values and what guides you, let’s meet and we can learn what matters most to you.

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